Things nervous voters should do the next few hours

Here are things you should not be doing for the next few hours:

You should not be trying to read tea leaves, following your favorite partisan on Twitter or cable news or sucking up every little bit of information from the folks you want to believe - while ignoring everyone else - about what turnout in a particular county or state or region or three-person polling station in Alaska means about the direction of the election.

Stop it.

Such things are designed only to fry your brains. At this point, they don't even matter. The politicking is over. The campaign ads might still be playing in swing states, but they pretty much no longer matter at this point. The deluge of daily and weekly and tracking polls has ended. Forecast models have made their final predictions or given their last probabilities.

Talk of votes being stolen from Gov. Mitt Romney or President Barack Obama will only give you headaches and have you chasing endless rabbit holes.

Stop it. Ween yourself from the TV or the Internet or the radio - or all of them. Go catch a movie. Buy some popcorn and Goobers for in my honor. Flight" starring Denzel Washington is a compelling one. If you've never imagined what it would feel like inside a commercial airliner forced to fly upside down, tonight is your lucky night.

Go take a jog out at The Market Common or pound a treadmill at a local gym if you have nervous energy. Buy some wings and things at Zaxby's or your favorite watering hole.

Go pray.

Go make love. (Of course you should only do this if you are of age and with someone you love and are in a committed, loving, mutually respectful relationship. Of course.)

Go make a boat or build a new engine for your old car.

Go take a dive in the Atlantic Ocean like the dude I saw walking on Ocean Boulevard in Myrtle Beach earlier today. He had on a black wetsuit and had a surfboard under his right arm. The temperature outside was 49 degrees.

Rent something from "Redbox," preferably something really silly and really stupid. Maybe rent two movies to make sure you can be distracted well beyond the time the initial polls close.

It will make you a better person. Frying your brain on hyper election coverage won't.

Such things are designed only to fry your brains. At this point, they don't even matter. The politicking is over. The campaign ads might still be playing in swing states, but they pretty much no longer matter at this point. The deluge of daily and weekly and tracking polls has ended. Forecast models have made their final predictions or given their last probabilities.

Talk of votes being stolen from Gov. Mitt Romney or President Barack Obama will only give you headaches and have you chasing endless rabbit holes.

Stop it. Ween yourself from the TV or the Internet or the radio - or all of them. Go catch a movie. Buy some popcorn and Goobers for in my honor. Flight" starring Denzel Washington is a compelling one. If you've never imagined what it would feel like inside a commercial airliner forced to fly upside down, tonight is your lucky night.

Go take a jog out at The Market Common or pound a treadmill at a local gym if you have nervous energy. Buy some wings and things at Zaxby's or your favorite watering hole.

Go pray.

Go make love. (Of course you should only do this if you are of age and with someone you love and are in a committed, loving, mutually respectful relationship. Of course.)

Go make a boat or build a new engine for your old car.

Go take a dive in the Atlantic Ocean like the dude I saw walking on Ocean Boulevard in Myrtle Beach earlier today. He had on a black wetsuit and had a surfboard under his right arm. The temperature outside was 49 degrees.

Rent something from "Redbox," preferably something really silly and really stupid. Maybe rent two movies to make sure you can be distracted well beyond the time the initial polls close.

It will make you a better person. Frying your brain on hyper election coverage won't.