Entrepreneurial Possibilities

By Ron Harris

BusinessWeek.com last Friday had an interesting article on the possibilities of a new crop of entrepreneurs springing up as a result of the new health care law. The lede reads: “As the health reforms signed into law this week begin to take effect over the next four years, one consequence to watch is to what extent would-be entrepreneurs feel comfortable leaving their jobs to start businesses. If people can get affordable insurance outside of their jobs, some number of workers who mainly stay in their jobs for health benefits will leave to start small companies or work for themselves, the reasoning goes.”

Indeed, as in most dark clouds, and even some hurricanes, there are silver linings and aftermath assets.  The bitterly controversial health care legislation that is now law of the land is no exception.  Necessity is the mother of invention, they say, and this mother is rife with possibilities, so below are some nascent entrepreneurial ideas of mine that, assuredly, bear further brainstorming and nurturing and kneading.  Remember – General Electric and General Motors started as mere privates, even though the latter got stripped of its high rank and respectability last year.

For instances:

Sidewalk euthanasia tubes:  With Medicare being raided to finance the health care cornucopia so younger folk can form a longer-lasting voting bloc, and with Social Security rapidly becoming insolvent, there should be easily available euthanasia tubes at designated places in downtown areas and malls -- you know, like those gleaming silver pay-potties on some metro street corners.  Depressed seniors shuffling to get to their mandatory dead-end minimum-wage jobs (that they’ve been forced to get due to raging inflation destroying their nest-eggs), could just pop a buck or two into the tube, step in, turn on the cyanide gas, and – viola! – no more sad futility, no more burden on society.  Biggest drawbacks:  making the euthanasia tubes leak-proof for “the common good” and disposing of the deceased’s remains.  Maybe there could also be a disposal mechanism connected to the tube…but that would require city government employees to do the heavy lifting, whose union(s) would demand big bucks and exorbitant workman’s comp, etc., etc.  Still, as aforementioned, the idea bears some mulling and pondering.

“BYOC” Packages:  Seeking to fulfill the promise of eliminating the “waste and fraud” in Medicare, the administrators of that program under Obamacare will be disapproving a number of treatments, so why not market a “BYOC” Package – Bring Your Own Catheter! Patients could purchase a pre-packed box of handy gadgets and tools, such as catheter tubes, Q-tips, stethoscope, tongue depressors, prescription pads, reflex hammer, hypodermic needles, the list goes on and on.  That would save doctors and hospitals a bundle.  And the marketing possibilities are endless – Bring Your Own Prostate Prober (use your imagination), Bring Your Own Bedpan and Specimen Cup (extra charge for gold monogramming), Bring Your Own K-Rations (to eat while you’re waiting for your name on the treatment-rationing list to hopefully come up).  This idea has so much potential, we had best get investor backing and patent the package before Johnson & Johnson hears the Wall Street rumors and beats us to the probe…uh…punch.

“Socialopoly”:  Board game in which you start with a large fortune and must minimize it through redistribution to other players, a spin on the popular 1930s’  game “Monopoly.”  In “Socialopoly,” to begin, each player will roll the dice, the one player with the highest roll starts play with an allocation of $5,000 in Socialopoly money (as adjusted for inflation).  He rolls the dice until he goes completely around the board, but almost every slot he lands on directs him to distribute his money to other players or pay the government a fine/tax for things like not having insurance against root-rot or not possessing an up-to-date entitlements license issued by the government.  A half-dozen slots on the board award the player an income tax rebate or capital gain or free health care for life, but unless the value of those is reported directly to the Game Czar (player with the lowest number on first roll) the benefit becomes an offense and a penalty ensues.  After all players have circumnavigated the board, the winner is determined as the player with the least remaining wealth but most “Compassion” cards collected (awarded for each redistribution of wealth).  Tremendous potential for this game, particularly if marketed with Monopoly and/or “Clueless.”

Miranda/Healthcare Rights Cards: These business-sized cards could be marketed to every police/sheriff force in the nation, for officers/deputies to carry and read to perps, with printed instructions something like this:  “You have the right to an attorney and a physician.  If you cannot afford an attorney or physician, since you are entitled they will be provided at no cost to you.  You have the right to remain silent, but if you speak, whatever you say may be held against you in court, and any criticism you voice of Obamacare could lead to felony charges.”

“Hackers On Call” to access medical records:  Ticked off at a neighbor, co-worker, political opponent or other garden-variety adversary?  Contact a “Hacker on Call” to penetrate their online medical records and use the info for whatever nefarious purpose you choose -- excellent potential for a lucrative franchise operation. Biggest drawback:  it might be illegal; would have to research recent federal regs to ascertain how drastically the privacy laws have been skewered to date.  Biggest asset: DNC and RNC would likely be consistent customers.

So, there’s some ideas and suggestions that might have some yeast from which to knead some good dough.  Run ‘em up the flagpoles to see who salutes ‘em amongst your respective circles, and let me know about potential investors.  Remember – some really famous entrepreneurs/capitalists started this way, including Captain Richard King, Fannie Porter, and Henry Jarvis Raymond. 

Mr. Raymond, btw, wrote (or purloined) sentiments some 150 years ago that are worth repeating: “There are few things in this world which it is worth while to get angry about; and they are just the things anger will not improve.”

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This is my final column on the OB for the foreseeable future, due to family, business and travel commitments.  It’s been fun, folks, but ciao for now. -- RMH

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For instances:

Sidewalk euthanasia tubes:  With Medicare being raided to finance the health care cornucopia so younger folk can form a longer-lasting voting bloc, and with Social Security rapidly becoming insolvent, there should be easily available euthanasia tubes at designated places in downtown areas and malls -- you know, like those gleaming silver pay-potties on some metro street corners.  Depressed seniors shuffling to get to their mandatory dead-end minimum-wage jobs (that they’ve been forced to get due to raging inflation destroying their nest-eggs), could just pop a buck or two into the tube, step in, turn on the cyanide gas, and – viola! – no more sad futility, no more burden on society.  Biggest drawbacks:  making the euthanasia tubes leak-proof for “the common good” and disposing of the deceased’s remains.  Maybe there could also be a disposal mechanism connected to the tube…but that would require city government employees to do the heavy lifting, whose union(s) would demand big bucks and exorbitant workman’s comp, etc., etc.  Still, as aforementioned, the idea bears some mulling and pondering.

“BYOC” Packages:  Seeking to fulfill the promise of eliminating the “waste and fraud” in Medicare, the administrators of that program under Obamacare will be disapproving a number of treatments, so why not market a “BYOC” Package – Bring Your Own Catheter! Patients could purchase a pre-packed box of handy gadgets and tools, such as catheter tubes, Q-tips, stethoscope, tongue depressors, prescription pads, reflex hammer, hypodermic needles, the list goes on and on.  That would save doctors and hospitals a bundle.  And the marketing possibilities are endless – Bring Your Own Prostate Prober (use your imagination), Bring Your Own Bedpan and Specimen Cup (extra charge for gold monogramming), Bring Your Own K-Rations (to eat while you’re waiting for your name on the treatment-rationing list to hopefully come up).  This idea has so much potential, we had best get investor backing and patent the package before Johnson & Johnson hears the Wall Street rumors and beats us to the probe…uh…punch.

“Socialopoly”:  Board game in which you start with a large fortune and must minimize it through redistribution to other players, a spin on the popular 1930s’  game “Monopoly.”  In “Socialopoly,” to begin, each player will roll the dice, the one player with the highest roll starts play with an allocation of $5,000 in Socialopoly money (as adjusted for inflation).  He rolls the dice until he goes completely around the board, but almost every slot he lands on directs him to distribute his money to other players or pay the government a fine/tax for things like not having insurance against root-rot or not possessing an up-to-date entitlements license issued by the government.  A half-dozen slots on the board award the player an income tax rebate or capital gain or free health care for life, but unless the value of those is reported directly to the Game Czar (player with the lowest number on first roll) the benefit becomes an offense and a penalty ensues.  After all players have circumnavigated the board, the winner is determined as the player with the least remaining wealth but most “Compassion” cards collected (awarded for each redistribution of wealth).  Tremendous potential for this game, particularly if marketed with Monopoly and/or “Clueless.”

Miranda/Healthcare Rights Cards: These business-sized cards could be marketed to every police/sheriff force in the nation, for officers/deputies to carry and read to perps, with printed instructions something like this:  “You have the right to an attorney and a physician.  If you cannot afford an attorney or physician, since you are entitled they will be provided at no cost to you.  You have the right to remain silent, but if you speak, whatever you say may be held against you in court, and any criticism you voice of Obamacare could lead to felony charges.”

“Hackers On Call” to access medical records:  Ticked off at a neighbor, co-worker, political opponent or other garden-variety adversary?  Contact a “Hacker on Call” to penetrate their online medical records and use the info for whatever nefarious purpose you choose -- excellent potential for a lucrative franchise operation. Biggest drawback:  it might be illegal; would have to research recent federal regs to ascertain how drastically the privacy laws have been skewered to date.  Biggest asset: DNC and RNC would likely be consistent customers.

So, there’s some ideas and suggestions that might have some yeast from which to knead some good dough.  Run ‘em up the flagpoles to see who salutes ‘em amongst your respective circles, and let me know about potential investors.  Remember – some really famous entrepreneurs/capitalists started this way, including Captain Richard King, Fannie Porter, and Henry Jarvis Raymond. 

Mr. Raymond, btw, wrote (or purloined) sentiments some 150 years ago that are worth repeating: “There are few things in this world which it is worth while to get angry about; and they are just the things anger will not improve.”

---

This is my final column on the OB for the foreseeable future, due to family, business and travel commitments.  It’s been fun, folks, but ciao for now. -- RMH

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