PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW …

By Richard L. Wolfe

What type of person leaves Paradise to start a business in a backwater community like New Orleans? A crafty, conniving, journalist type like Robert Morris comes to mind. Being quite familiar with Robert’s stealthy behavior, I thought it best that I pen this farewell salutation before he sneaks out the back door. I must admit that I was caught off guard when he announced his plans for his imminent departure. He was doing so well. He has survived the slings and arrows of Patrick and Joe. He has managed the burdensome workload that the task masters at the Sun News dumped on him. He even accepted the responsibility of running the S.N.O.B., a job that no one in their right mind would ever even contemplate doing. He not only accepted it, but implemented new and more innovative ways of presenting it. His hiring of such talented writers as Sunny Fry and Ron Harris to replace old worn out MSM types like Froma Harrop and Michelle Malkin was a stroke of genius. He even allowed lesser lights (Against his better Judgment) like me to join the party. In fact it seems like most of Robert’s decisions concerning the blog were not only innovative but aptly apposite in relation to the transformation of the new electronic media.

The question on the table is: with Robert’s glowing track record of success, why would he leave us at this time? I suspect foul play. But before I rush to judgment, let’s examine the facts. Robert makes a six figure salary with benefits like six weeks paid vacation, stock options, gold plated health care benefits, tuition reimbursement and more. He is respected and admired by his superiors, co-workers, and blog members. He has never voiced any problems or dissatisfaction with his job or personal life that I can remember. Finally, not to be overly repetitive, but the decision to leave Paradise for the lowly mosquito infested and steam-bath-like humidity of a bog like New Orleans is simply unfathomable. I smell a rat! I fear Robert has fallen prey to a sinister affliction that is not of his own making. No, I am not referring to his ongoing battle with “Leftism,” a minor malady that most journalists contract at Liberal Arts Universities. That can be controlled with daily doses of reason, logic, and common sense. I fear Robert has fallen victim to a major illness known as “Creole Black Magic Syndrome” or in layman’s terms Voodoo! This hideous disease infects the mind and causes the victim to act in ways that defy all reason. We need to find him help before it is too late.

With his intellect in disarray, maybe we can appeal to his emotions. Robert, I would never resort to guilt tripping anyone into doing anything that they didn’t really want to do, but have you considered the fate of the poor blog participants without your leadership? What about the plight of the untold millions of people around the world who click on the S.N.O.B. everyday for intellectual, emotional, and spiritual guidance? I have it on good authority that the Messiah himself starts everyday with a cigarette, cup of coffee, and a quick review of what is being posted on the S.N.O.B. Where is your sense of duty man? If the love of your family, friends, and co-workers is not enough to stifle your happy feet, then do it for the betterment of mankind! Please don’t leave us to chase fool’s gold in a city below the sea!

In all seriousness, I met Robert only once by his invitation and he was a half hour late due to unexpected duties that were assigned to him. I forgave him for that, and I am sure he will forgive me for roasting him in a good-natured way. He is quite a gentleman and a hard working one at that. He has been a positive force for the blog, the Sun News, and the Grand Strand Community as a whole. I believe that I speak for everyone on the blog when I say that we will miss you, but we have no doubt that you will be successful and prosper at whatever venture you undertake. Good luck my friend!

The question on the table is: with Robert’s glowing track record of success, why would he leave us at this time? I suspect foul play. But before I rush to judgment, let’s examine the facts. Robert makes a six figure salary with benefits like six weeks paid vacation, stock options, gold plated health care benefits, tuition reimbursement and more. He is respected and admired by his superiors, co-workers, and blog members. He has never voiced any problems or dissatisfaction with his job or personal life that I can remember. Finally, not to be overly repetitive, but the decision to leave Paradise for the lowly mosquito infested and steam-bath-like humidity of a bog like New Orleans is simply unfathomable. I smell a rat! I fear Robert has fallen prey to a sinister affliction that is not of his own making. No, I am not referring to his ongoing battle with “Leftism,” a minor malady that most journalists contract at Liberal Arts Universities. That can be controlled with daily doses of reason, logic, and common sense. I fear Robert has fallen victim to a major illness known as “Creole Black Magic Syndrome” or in layman’s terms Voodoo! This hideous disease infects the mind and causes the victim to act in ways that defy all reason. We need to find him help before it is too late.

With his intellect in disarray, maybe we can appeal to his emotions. Robert, I would never resort to guilt tripping anyone into doing anything that they didn’t really want to do, but have you considered the fate of the poor blog participants without your leadership? What about the plight of the untold millions of people around the world who click on the S.N.O.B. everyday for intellectual, emotional, and spiritual guidance? I have it on good authority that the Messiah himself starts everyday with a cigarette, cup of coffee, and a quick review of what is being posted on the S.N.O.B. Where is your sense of duty man? If the love of your family, friends, and co-workers is not enough to stifle your happy feet, then do it for the betterment of mankind! Please don’t leave us to chase fool’s gold in a city below the sea!

In all seriousness, I met Robert only once by his invitation and he was a half hour late due to unexpected duties that were assigned to him. I forgave him for that, and I am sure he will forgive me for roasting him in a good-natured way. He is quite a gentleman and a hard working one at that. He has been a positive force for the blog, the Sun News, and the Grand Strand Community as a whole. I believe that I speak for everyone on the blog when I say that we will miss you, but we have no doubt that you will be successful and prosper at whatever venture you undertake. Good luck my friend!